Acceptance is not passive; it is a path to peace. Whenever we hear bad news or disappointing news, our first reaction is often of anger, as well as frustration and fear. This reaction is perfectly natural, and it is essential that we allow those emotions and acknowledge them and even name them. But, there comes a time when we need to think about perhaps a solution, a way of helping, a way to get out of this situation that we are in. To do that, we need to let go of the anger and the frustration, and after anger and frustration, we think “this shouldn’t be”, “why me?”, “How did this happen?”. These thoughts feed more into our anger, and it is challenging to find a solution, help to get out of the situation from that place of anger.
So, we need to find a way to accept ‘what happened’ or accept ‘what’s coming’. Acceptance is not passive; it is a path to peace. It is letting go of all those whiny feelings and thoughts. Realizing the situation and accepting the fact that, this is how it is now, will lead you to the path of inner peace.
Why is acceptance not natural?
Acceptance is grossly misunderstood with inaction, defeatism, rolling over, playing nice and other sorts of things like that. But the truth is that acceptance is in fact, quite the opposite. In the fullest sense of the word, acceptance isn’t about inaction or passivity. So, what is acceptance about?
Acceptance is all about recognizing and embracing reality just as it is, in all its pain, in all its glory, and with all its beauty and ugliness. What the truth is, non-acceptance is a passive action. In non-acceptance we push away reality, we don’t look at it and thus our agency in a situation because it removes choices around how we can react to the unfolding moment.
The beauty of acceptance.
Do you know what actually acceptance is? Embracing the reality of the situation looking at it in all its difficulty, standing in the fact of what it feels like and what it looks like and looking at it with clear, unwavering attention is acceptance. By accepting it, we strangely find a place of clarity, a place of knowing and understanding from where effective actions can flow.
So, no matter what is the situation, finding acceptance can allow us to transform the painful condition into places of self-healing.
What does acceptance do? Why is acceptance not passive?
In order to accept something, we have to see what it is indeed. You have to honestly look at the situation in all its difficulty and glory. This is what it does. Acceptance allows the person to see life in a whole new way. It is all about creating our situational plans to fight against the hurdles in life. Acceptance gives us strength; it gives us time and makes us ready to face the thing in its original way. How can acceptance be passive then? It is a beauty, a good habit which leads us to the path to inner peace and satisfaction. Though the situation is not even every time, life is hard and brutal both. But what the accepting does is to prepare us for those hard times. Acceptance is not passive but a pathway towards inner peace.
When we accept the situation or ourselves, we acknowledge it, and acknowledging is what the acceptance is all about. It is not about not doing, not acting, being defeated but on the contrary in a nutshell acceptance is a place of deep seeing of really looking and understanding the totality of a situation to the extent that is humanly possible. From such a place of understanding and full clarity, we can then empower ourselves with the right action and the choice.
Personal hit and how I learned to utilize the power of acceptance?
Acceptance is not resignation neither is giving up. It takes strength and courage to learn this habit. Let me share my personal experience that made me realize and taught me how to accept the situation.
In my school times, I had a friend who was a girl. She was sweet, caring, and beautiful. I was in love with her, but she was not into me as I was into her. Her care for me as a friend wasn’t allowing me to think that we have to might have to part ways one day, and thus I did not want to be that extensively involved in this friendship.
I knew I could never be her boyfriend, but it was hard to accept, and I continuously put efforts to impress her. One day, she came up with her new boyfriend, and I was stunned. I had never told her my feelings, but at that time, I wished I might have told her. It was tough for me, and I went into a deep mental and heart breakdown. I wasn’t normal for about 4-5 months until one of how friends taught me to accept the situation and let go of all the things in the past. Start afresh and accept the reality that she wasn’t the one and it wasn’t meant to be. He told me 4-5 basics tricks that helped me a lot in getting better in the situation, and I am sure they will help you too.
How to accept challenging situations?
Acknowledge the situation
Do not try to deny the happening of a challenging situation and not even try to avoid it. As the longer you will accept the case, the longer it will take to find the solution to the problem because it is the reality which you are not facing off. Accept it, even if you cannot change the situation, it is better to acknowledge it and be prepared for the worst rather than being caught off-guard of the inevitable.
Develop a plan
As soon as you accept the problem, you need a plan to encounter the problem. Try to evaluate all the scenarios and brainstorm potential ways to get out of the challenging situation. Invest time in making a plan rather than hiding yourself from it. There are many situations which will not be under your control, don’t worry, focus on the good points and make two plans, plan A and plan B keeping plan B as an alternate. This will help you to get out of the problem.
Try to seek help when necessary
Asking for help is not a sign of cowardness. It can also signify the courage inside you. So, try to seek help whenever required. Don’t be afraid to ask anyone whether they are your close ones or any professionals. They will surely help you and will walk you while you seek the path of acceptance. So don’t be afraid to seek help, it will speed up the process you are about to embrace.
Change what you can
Try to change the bad which you can change in a situation. Try to evaluate your capabilities and identify the problems. See, what is there which you can change and resolve. As soon as you will do this, you will be easily cutting your problems in steps.
Develop coping skills to deal with your feelings
Acceptance does not give the power to change the situation. It will hurt the same as before accepting. But the difference is you will get control over your feelings after accepting. You will get the power and courage to deal with your stress, anger, and various emotions to take things in a positive and better way. Spend time with loved ones; you will get the solution quickly.
Focus on what you can gain
If you are learning the power of acceptance, then you should know what the things you are accepting are. Twist the situation to your favour by studying all the things and lessons you can learn from the phase, and the things which can improve you. If you do this, you will quickly learn new things to deal with similar situations ahead.
Don’t accept all the situations, because if you will get comfortable with every situation, how will you find the solutions? How will you learn to adapt to newer conditions? This is something we need to train ourselves to do. Get into a habit of training yourself with small things. It will convert into a routine, and you can then do this with the larger goals and aspirations that are needed in life. Learn to let go of the ‘why me?’ and ‘it shouldn’t be’ thoughts and try to accept the situation and yourself. This will help you to fight with even more spirit and inner peace. Therefore always remember “acceptance is not passive!”