What do you do when you are in stress. anger and frustration? Do you remember what your reaction was when your anger went up to the zenith floor last time? Do you wish to go to the past to handle things a bit differently? We are all humans and we go through lots of up and downs in the course of our life. It is very common that situations go against us and leave us only in stress, anger and frustration, but we should know how to be and think calmly in those situtaions. That’s whats going to get us through it! When things don’t go according to your plan, what is your go-to action? It might be a bunch of cuss words spoken in anger and of course lots and lots of stress and anxiety. Did you get a solution though? I don’t think so!
So, what is the sense of being that harsh to yourself in those situations? Why can’t we learn to deal with the anger and frustration which has been pent-up because of many reasons like waiting in long lines, driving through the endless traffic and dealing with snide remarks from co-workers and what not! Well, in this article we will learn how to deal with pent-up anger and how we can release stress and frustration in a way that it doesn’t harm us.
What causes anger and frustration that takes control over you?
There is a simple answer to this question; when something goes against you, you become restless and lack of comfort makes you angry. Stress and frustration are the outcomes of anger. If you are able to cope up with your anger, then you can easily cope up with your stress and frustration too. Your pent-up anger can be because of
- The irritation which you face when something good and comforting is missing.
- Sadness when the situation doesn’t go according to your plans.
- Restlessness when you are missing something which your heart dealy wants.
- Frustration when things are not approachable.
These are some extreme feelings that lead to the extreme feeling of anger leading to frustration and stress.
When you are unheard and unappreciated, or unable to accept the situation and turn it in your way, that’s the vulnerable point that gives your controls to anger and frustration. There are some of the trigger points like unmet needs which make you restless and destructive too.
It is important to face and identify these feelings and move past these feelings for our betterment. If not identified, they can easily take shape of anxiety and depression which is even more severe. Experts say that anxiety and depression are forms of unexpressed anger.
Every person functions differently and there is no magic secret or recipe that can control your outrage in one go, but there are some very general methods and ways that can help you reduce the effect of those tricky situations and scenarios.
How to cope up with Pent-up anger and frustration?
Anger is a valid emotion. You can explain it and it is helpful in some cases too. But, it is not good for mental as well as physical health if you don’t know how to let it out calmly. If you are bottling up your frustration for a long time, it can lead to many destructive reactions. Constructively channelling this energy is what we are going to learn now.
1. Deep Breaths
When you are high on those harsh feelings, you forget to take deep breaths which is the easiest first step for tackling most of your problems. Never overlook your breathing; it gives you a feeling that you are still in control of the situation when things are getting out of your hands. If you are following this activity, you can make yourself feel easy and relaxed and simultaneously provide more oxygen to your brain which will help you think smarter. There is one more thing which you have to keep in mind, try to control your breaths from your belly rather than from your chest. If you do so, it will instantly calm your mind and body.
In any hyper situation, find a chair, sit on, call your best friend or the best person you have, relax, breathe deeply through your nose and let your tummy rise by exhaling through your mouth.
2. Change your environment
Learning new strategies to deal with frustration and changing environment is the best one in it. You can create a physical distance from the place, situation or person who is the source of the problem and try to give yourself time. Give yourself some space to be alone with your thoughts so you can arrange them and make sense of it. You can even reward yourself, give a temporary break, understand the situation fully and get back once you are ready. A slight change can do wonders beyond your expectation sometimes.
3. Recite a Mantra that comforts you
You can bubble up specific words to yourself whenever you see things are going beyond your control and you know you are going to be angry and frustrated. You can say “All is Well” repeated number of times (inspired from 3 Idiots), can recite any religious mantra, can even say “take it easy bro take it easy”. You have to make a personal chant for yourself that you connect with. It will help you get over the overwhelming feelings.
4. Work it out
If you are getting hyper even on small things, you need to find a permanent solution to it. You can perform physical activity to deal with stress and frustration. It can also help you feel calm as it will increase the oxygen intake which will help the brain to work better. Physical activity is the answer to letting out all your anger and frustration. It does not mean going to the gym and holding up weight, rather it means you can do the best thing you love like, cycling, camping or other things you fancy doing.
5. Move your body mindfully
In these abrupt situations, try to relate everything logically and not by the immediate instincts. I know it is not an easy task, but you can perform it by practicing yoga. Things will go beyond our imaginations on both the sides of scales, it is us who have to see how we manage these situations. If it is bad at one point, things will be good at some other point too. It is just a game of managing our anger and frustration while facing the bad side.
You are the only one who can help yourself, and the best practice you can perform to nullify the effect is meditation and yoga. Do it, trust me, it will help you stay calm even in the wildest of situations and train you in a way that you don’t even have to try to do so! It will help you in maintaining a connection between your mind and your inner soul.
6. Challenge your frustration
Counterattack your frustration by imagining unrealistic good scenarios in your mind. You can imagine a date with your girlfriend, cuddling with her, going on a world tour, and other things which you like. This will slow down your anger and frustrated thoughts and ultimately relaxes you down. Of course, you need to know what’s imagination and what’s reality but that’s a discussion for another time.
7. Express it
Expressing anger and frustration is also a good way to channel it. You can take a 5-seconds break, releases all your tension and frustration in one go. Bottling up anger and frustration will have a bad impact on your physical as well as mental health. Release it, but try to control at that particular moment so you don’t harm yourself or others, rather go to a private room and shout as loud as you can or whatever your way is for releasing anger. You’ll be fine to act logically in no time.
8. Recognize triggers and find alternatives
If you are getting frustrated and angry at the same point every time, convert that point into your strength. Bring out some alternative which will replace your trigger point in a better way. This is a good way to reduce your anger but it needs lots of practice and time.
Do you need Doctors’ help?
Sometimes the situation goes beyond our control and simple methods don’t work for anymore. So, the final option we are left with is professional help. But, how to know the right time to seek help from a professional? Here are some situations when you should consider consulting a doctor for better anger and stress management issues.
- If you are harming yourself when in the hyper situation.
- If your ability to being happy is being affected.
- If your relationships with your loved ones are turning sour and you know from within it’s you.
- When your anger goes to a point that you feel the urge to physically hurt yourself or others.
- When you are not able to let-go the situation for a very long period of time.
These are some situation where you should seek a help from the professionals.
Some common symptoms like, criticizing others, hurting others, feeling agitated and irritated all the time, poor sleep, feeling on edge are visible commonly. If this persists, you should seel help to be sure it isn’t too late.
The Bottom Line
Anger and frustration are valid emotions. They are very common and experiencing them isn’t a disease or trauma. But, when you are unable to control your anger, then it can become a serious issue leading to various traumatic after-effects. You need to manage yourself in those peak situations and let the feelings out. You are always in control of yourself. Never forget it!