How many times have you had this feeling that you have everything good but there is still something missing and feel sad about it? Are you unhappy even if you have everything good around you? Well, don’t worry! It is common in most of the people and this isn’t something special that is swallowing you up. On-paper, you might have everything one could aspire for, but deep inside you feel something has been left out. Something big enough that is making you restless, unhappy and poking you again and again. It could be guilt of doing something wrong you may have done, or it could be something unusual or it could be something unanswered.
We all want to be happy in our lives. But, do you know why this feeling of being left out arises? It can be because of something big you are expecting for yourself. Even if you are surrounded by everything good around you, you still strive to get better each day, you start comparing yourself with the best time of others and boom, sense of FOMO arises.
Expectations are the Majority Carrier of Unhappiness!
Well, Yes, it is damn true. Expectations are the majority carrier of unhappiness and sorrow. It is good to expect something better and worth it for yourself. There is no harm in it, but when these expectations are not fulfilled, they hurt us. They make us cry, give us unhappiness. Thus, we can conclude expectations are the majority carrier of unhappiness.
Let me share a personal experience with you. A few months back, I came in a relationship with a girl. Everything was going right with her and I also imagined my future with her. Things were going good, but suddenly the relationship tuned chaos for us. So, we broke up. My expectations gave me a heart breakdown. I might have recovered quickly if I hadn’t expected anything but as I have mentioned previously, expectations are the majority carrier of unhappiness, and I fell in the same trap myself!
You might have a feeling that whatever you have achieved till now is tame. You feel like you lack that ‘awesomeness’ in your life and this is the worst part. You don’t see the good around you, but you only lament over the things that are absent. Do you what is even worse? When we get the things we were previously aspiring for, we lament over the absence of things above that! The ‘little more’ never leaves us.
We do not become happy and do not admire things like our house, good clothing and all meals. But rather we see things like, Vintage motorcycle, car, fascinating things and the list goes on and on. You are not tired of your expectations, indeed your life is tired of you. You will crave for every other thing but not see what good you have. Nobody is going to feed you, help you and become a part of your sorrows. It’s always the family that will be there for you at all times and thus you should try to be happy and satisfied by feeling their presence alone. Instead of yearning for more try to work hard first and then think logically what do you deserve. Is your hard work actually enough for the things you desire or are you simply dreaming for them to come true?
Reasons Why you are Unhappy Even if You Have Everything Good Around You.
Do you know what you do? You try to make changes in your life by comparing and judging the life of others. You judge your ability, your personal things, and become disappointed when you fail to create a difference. He/she might be your friend, or your colleagues. Not everyone is born with same environment around. If they have something better than you, then surely you must have something else better than them. Never play the comparison game.
Learn to Love Your Imperfections
Why to always go for perfection? There are situations where you do not perform perfectly and that’s completely okay. You are not there to impress anyone. If you are fine with your imperfections then you do not need to worry about what others think of you. You have to sometimes go with imperfections because perfect things never exist. It is all about satisfaction. If you are satisfied with one thing, then that thing is perfect for you. Don’t always overwhelm yourself with things that are not in your control. Learn to be satisfied and embrace the imperfections. You will not get anything if you are unhappy even if you have everything good!
Learn to be Satisfied.
Do you know what is the best part of accepting imperfect things? You start noticing what is good around you. You start recognising things that were always there for you. This is one of the best parts of the process of embracing your shortcomings. You can never deny the fact that you know your capabilities. If you know that you can achieve more, then you should definitely give it a try. But, if you know that this is all you can do, then you should be satisfied with that. Satisfaction is the utmost important thing in everyone’s life. I have seen many quotes around which says that satisfaction is the killer of perfection, indeed very true. But, if you are a normal person, and that non-satisfaction is taking away your happiness, then leave it there. Accept it, have faith in yourself and your judgement and go be satisfied with what you have achieved so far yet. Satisfaction is also a thing that can be achieved only by some people and if you are one of them then you are a winner!
If you are not satisfied, then you will never have gratitude for the things you have. It is your world that you have created and this is your safe haven. The only thing which you have to do is to learn to love this world. Over-expectations will take this away from you. Embrace its imperfections and let go of people who demotivate you or have a negative aura in your life. They might be the reason behind your unhappiness even if you have everything good!
Change how you see situations and your life.
Misery loves company, this is what you have to learn. You have to distance yourself from clinging needs, and future scenarios. Try to accept the value in darkness and try to find good in bad. There is always something good in bad, and vice-versa. It is just the way you look at the things. There are different perceptions of different things. Choose what is best for you. You only have to spot the little rays of happiness in your bad times. These rays are never gone, they are just hidden behind your expectations and misery. You just have to change your perception. Things and situation will surely go to extreme edges, but it is you and only you who have to manage and dive safely off the edges.
Just follow a simple rule, try to find three and more good things in bad and never overthink the good situations. This is what will help you navigate the ocean of life.
What you are missing is your reality!
Yes, read it again. You are missing your reality. You can only make a change when you know what you are missing in your life. If you can’t make them then out then reality slips out from your hands just like sand! You just need to find out the things which you are missing. If you are too detached from your reality then you have a serious problem at your door. Be close to it, stick to it. When you will get to know who you are, you will find only good things around you. This might be the reason why you are unhappy even if you have good things around. You should stick to your reality and your capabilities.
If you find yourself far away from reality, try to reach there with baby steps. Go step by step, learn new things, see what is good around you and leave all the bad things and expectations. Slowly-slowly, try to cope up and you will notice that you are again back in track with your reality.
The Bottom Line.
Well, yes there can be many reasons why you are unhappy even if you have good things around. The major one is your expectations and the way you view things. When you start comparing yourself with any other person, the sense of losing out and being behind arises which creates most of the problem. You just need to stick to the good things you have and try to take the best from them. Everyone is not the same and as soon as you accept this fact, You won’t even know how optimistic you have become towards life and happiness will follow.
Accept this as soon as you can, and start finding some good in bad things. If you do so, you will never be unhappy when you have everything good around you.