The term JOMO or the joy of missing out was coined as an opposite to FOMO or the fear of missing out. JOMO acronym or the joy of missing out is the feeling of content and relief that you have when you are doing your work or enjoying your ‘me-time’ peacefully without the lingering anxiety and stress about what others are doing. It is often only considered and mentioned while we are comparing our activities to others. But, our life doesn’t amount only to this much, does it? There are so many other things in life that are much important to be seen in a positive and meaningful way, and that needs to be linked to the ‘JOY’ of missing out.
Traditional FOMO and JOMO- What do they mean?
FOMO is the acronym for fear of missing out that is mostly used when you feel anxiety and feelings of unsatisfaction strike that someplace, somewhere people are doing something much more than you are and that you are not enough. To combat this, JOMO came into existence.
JOMO or the joy of missing out as the name suggest is taking the other road while facing these situations. Instead of fearing the situations of which you are not a part, it’s embracing and accepting your time and life with grace. It is when you stop comparing your social and personal life with others and accept yours. It is when you don’t frantically run after things just to be a part of, but willingly say no to certain things so that you can invest in yourself. It is putting first those things that actually need your attention than rambling on and on over non-so-important things in life.
Embracing JOMO doesn’t mean that you have to say no to everything and become an anti-social introvert beaver. But it is an art- an art that lets you know that it’s okay to say no when you feel like spending time alone. It’s when you don’t feel sad and sorry for yourself when you miss out an event for spending time with yourself. This is what JOMO is all about. It is taking care of yourself without lamenting over the things that you aren’t a part of.
JOMO is a different light- a new place where we need JOMO
It took a long time until people realised what FOMO is and accepted that a large part of humanity might be suffering from this serious issue. It took even longer to accept and embrace JOMO to combat the dear old FOMO. But, the question that bothers me is- Why do we only connect JOMO to things like ‘not being a part of group’, or ‘not having as much fun as others’. My point is, JOMO is only considered when we find peace with not being a part of any social event- that is honestly not an issue and wouldn’t be if it weren’t for social media and how it is used to portray only the perfect chunk of people’s lives.
There are so many essential things in life that we miss out and regret for a long time. The greatest of those things being- OPPORTUNITIES. We don’t always get what we want and deserve in life. There are a lot of times when we worked hard but still missed to grab the opportunities and dreams we wished we had in life. That is the regret and anxiety that is much larger and persistent than the regrets of normal FOMO-ing.
JOMO is the acronym for Joy of missing out. We shouldn’t limit it to certain things. It is hard to find the joy and happiness when you miss out on an opportunity in life, but what good is beating yourself up for it now? Will it come back if you are continuously feeling sad and upset? Certainly not! Then what is a good thing you can do? The only thing that might bring you good is accepting the situation; it is even better when you are thinking logically. It helps more if you consider the missed opportunity as another opportunity gained to maybe achieve higher goals in life and a chance to improve yourself and have a better shot at life. Well, there is undoubtedly a big difference in saying and doing things. But accepting this part and using JOMO is the faith that you need to have to combat the grief and anxiety and make the most out of the situation.
What made me search for a different meaning of JOMO?
I first came across the term JOMO a long time ago, and if I remember right, I had completely misunderstood it that time. Even then, I thought that JOMO meant finding the joy in lost and missed opportunities. I had only heard it somewhere and came to a conclusion on my own, until later when I actually understood what FOMO and JOMO were. But I believe my understanding wasn’t wrong either- if somebody hears the joy of missing out for the first time then there is a possibility that people may misunderstand it and come to different conclusions. I don’t find mine bad either. It is certainly a topic and opinion people can debate on. Nevertheless, I got busy with school and left the concept as a dormant memory.
It was until I saw a quote by the legendary Indian actor Pankaj Tripathi on a meme page in my social media. I do not remember the exact quote, but it was based on the idea we are discussing- it said how his father couldn’t buy a truck for farming when he was young and had his father owned a tractor that time, he wouldn’t be the actor he is today. That is the joy I am talking about. It is making the most out of lost opportunities and finding the good side of it.
Connecting the dots
I hadn’t thought about the concept for a long time, but the quote made me rethink. I thought about my situation as well and how there is a positive side to even the things that you might think are the worst circumstances to face in your life. For me, it was when I couldn’t go to the college I had wished. Everyone wants to go to the best possible college for starting the journey to their career. I am no different and wanted the same for myself. However, as already said, things always don’t go as planned. I was devastated when I couldn’t be a part of the institution I wished and desired for. I regretted and grieved about it for a long time. It was the first significant thing I had hoped for, that’d shape my life but couldn’t get it.
There was so much I could do if I was where I had wished, but I am where I am now. Can I change the situation? Obviously not, but I certainly can work hard and make the most out of the things that I have. I made peace with my situation a long time ago. I only started to rethink it, connecting it with the concept when I saw the quote and decided to write about it.
I really like where I am now! I have met people that have become an important part of my life and maybe if I had gone to another place I wouldn’t meet people like them. I value these people and have learnt so much from them. I started to write only because I had a little more free time than I would have had if I was in another place. And, I must say I quite like this new work even though I know I am not perfect right now.
Had I gone to a different place, I would have never have thought about writing to let my emotions out, let alone start a blog- which only came into existence because a friend proposed the idea to me- whom I wouldn’t have met if it weren’t for the opportunity I lost. Adversity can sometimes be a blessing in disguise. I am learning a lot of new things, and I know if I work hard, I’ll do good wherever I’ll be in the future. This is the JOY and the JOMO I believe is required when you face a situation that you did not wish to meet.
If someone asks me now- Would I trade what I have now if I get a chance to go back and get what I had desired? To be very honest, YES! I would go back and live that life because that would give me another set of opportunities to explore. I might do something different there, and that’s because I am not scared of exploring the possibilities. That being said, I don’t dislike what I have right now. This is another set of opportunities that I am exploring and need to explore further to go places. I value what I have now and don’t regret what can’t be done. Making the best of the things I have will let me be the best version of myself. This is what JOMO is to me. JOMO- the joy of missing out on opportunities and making new opportunities from them, that who knows can lead you to even better places.
How to embrace the new Joy of missing out?
Well, if I have to just suggest one, then it would be ACCEPTING where you are and knowing that even though you lost one, there will be thousands of doors to knock on and hundreds of great opportunities to explore; that will certainly be missed if you keep on banging your hand for the same door. Grieving and being upset for a loss is not wrong. It is a necessary part of being a human being with emotions, but you shouldn’t let it cloud other things for long. Such types of feelings do you more harm than good. Find the positive side in things even in the most challenging adversities- it’s hard, but you need to find JOY, and get up and strive to make the most out of everything. This is the JOMO that you need with the traditional JOMO. This is the JOMO that will take you places, and to the heights you deserve.
There are countless great examples in history to prove that there is always a hidden positive aspect in every adversity and missed opportunity. You just need to find it and work on it, and it will take you to the place you deserve. That being said, it also depends on how much you want a thing. If you truly wish to achieve something, you’ll do whatever it takes to get you there. However many opportunities you miss, you’ll take it as a lesson, accept the joy in it, embrace JOMO and keep on working. If not, then your inner flame isn’t enough for your aspirations, and even if by luck you had got the opportunity in the first place, you would have wasted it and blamed other factors for your loss.
Change my thoughts if I am wrong!