In this article, we are going to discuss how to release the resistance of the past or how to let go past with practical techniques. Our past has power over us, we all are caged in our past, and we all try to let go of our doings. Many of us have missed opportunities and have done somethings that we are not proud of. But, why are you letting those wrongdoings control your present and ruining your future? Why are those missed opportunities from the past eating your upcoming and present options?
You know what the truth is, our experience in day to day affects our future. What we are today is all connected with our past. But this isn’t right. We should live in the present, in the moment after letting go of our past.
Seeing the past can be done in different ways.
What we can really learn is how to let go of the burden of the past that we carry with us and instead be in the present moment. When we let go of our past, we realize that we start to become the person that we prefer to be, and then the external environment can reflect that internal change that we have made. Now, a lot of times when we see our past, we have certain memories that tend to bubble up. This certain memory continues to have a definition that we acquired about who we are, and maybe our past decides the decision that we make and how we identify ourselves.
There are two ways of looking at what happened.
- What we perceive happened
- What actually happened
The thing which burdens us the most is ‘us’ and our perception of what happened. But, what we can learn to do is move it over and see what had happened objectively. Let me give you an example; some people are treated in the wrong way when they were growing up. Maybe their peers treated them in a certain way that the person looks at the whole situation in a very pessimistic way and consider himself a victim. We are considering ourselves victims, and that’s the reason we are not able to let go of our past experiences.
My personal experience.
You cannot do anything regarding the past; what has gone is gone forever. Let me share an experience with you all. When I was in class 10th, I was a bit distracted. I was more into my friend circle rather than studies. This distraction lead to a low score in the 10th board examination. I was not entirely sure what to do next! I wanted to pursue a science stream, but my score wasn’t that good. All my friends were following what they wished, but I wasn’t, and it was heartbreaking. I also wanted to join them again, but I wasn’t left with any other option. The Principal of my school didn’t allow me to pursue science in the same school.
So, I had two choices. One is to take a different stream and study in the same school with friends, and the other was to change school and get admission to another school where I can pursue my wish. I cried, I cried a lot that day and I cursed those days when I wasted my time hanging out with my friends. I wasn’t even aware this could happen to me. My father was very dissatisfied with me.
But, this time I made the right choice, I choose the latter. I started afresh with all unknowns. It was a feeling like someone has stabbed me. I was unable to concentrate in my studies and missed lots of opportunities in class 11th. I cannot describe how that situation had hit me all over again, I scored fewer marks in class 11th. That day, my mathematics teacher sat beside me, and he said: “What are you afraid of Dev?” I didn’t have an answer. I was numb and tears started flowing out from my eyes. That day, he said something that completely changed my life.
He quoted, “ What are you afraid of? Your past? Your current situation? Or the pressure that your class 10th result has given you? You cannot undo that situation Dev. The only thing you can do is look forward to life and forget all that you have missed. When you think about the Opportunity you have missed in the past, you miss the Opportunity which hits you in the present. Those marks can’t decide your future, but how you are planning to make the marks does. Leave it, forget it, focus on the future, and you will notice that there are even big opportunities that will come by and you will conquer them. There is nothing in your hand related to the past, transform those mistakes into lessons, and fight back and work hard as an ant” You only have to take the first step and opportunities will knock your door.
After awhile, you’ve got to stop banging your head against the same wall. If you really want change to occur, focus on what you can do and do it.Doe Zantamata
These sentences were the little push that I needed to see my past objectively. I started working hard by forgetting what all I had done. It helped me walk to a brighter and better future where I could see things objectively. I am not a bright student when we talk about studies. I have to work twice as hard as other students’ work, but I am not afraid of it.
What I learned from this is, especially more recently, was how to look at past experiences and reframe the whole situation for your benefit. Doing this will allow us to be free and it will make sure that we are the master of what we think and do.
Letting go past is all that we can do.
It is possible that the things which didn’t like in the past are started to gain your interest and attention. It is part of human life and a human tendency; everybody commits mistakes, and it is those mistakes that pave the way towards our success. If we haven’t committed any mistake in life, then what have we learned from life? It is likely that then, you are just following another person and not creating our path.
Most of the time you have missed many situations and regretted it afterward. Yes, we all do this. But, what is the sense of regretting it later? Can we do anything about that missed situation in the present case? No, what’s gone is gone, and that’s the reason it is called ‘the past’. What we can do is learn from the past, work in the present, take lessons, and keep building a bright future. We have to learn to create opportunities in the present by avoiding the mistakes that we committed in the past. We have to use all the resources and the lessons and make sure that when the next opportunity comes our way, we are ready to successfully grab it and ace it.
You cannot change the past, but you can learn to let go ‘the past’.
There is nothing we can do with the things that have already occurred in our life; unless you are God nobody can change it. Even though we are living in the 21st century, we still don’t have an instrument that can change the past. We are the only ones that can let go of our past and move forward in life seeking new opportunities. Because, like it or not, that’s the only thing you can do to make your life better. Life is full of challenges, sometimes you win, and sometimes life takes over you. But, it does not mean that we always have to feel sorrow for our defeat. Consider life as a tough competitor, and prepare for the next game. That’s how life works; it goes on and stops for none (again, unless you are God).
You cannot stick to one place, taking your past experiences and that baggage doesn’t let you move ahead. You have to let go of the past and think about what else you can do. Try to evaluate your capabilities and make yourself comfortable with the present. Life will give your heart and brain simple breakdowns, but it is you who have to fight back. You have to strike with more power rather than just lamenting over the fall and regretting about what had happened with you.
No one is perfect. It is you who can decide what your future would look like. Answer honestly, how will you focus on the present, if you don’t have the courage to let go of your past? You will make your future the same as your past if you don’t let go that past and work on your present. Life is a harsh game; you always have to keep your chin up to show you are still alive. You have to fight and fight harder each time. Your past may try to push you back but you have to get up stronger than ever.
We have to find solutions to release that resistance and have to understand that we are the master of our brains and memory. We can decide how we perceive a particular thing and experience. If we reframe our thinking in a way that will work best for the present then we can surely let the baggage turn into something positive!
So, instead of thinking that the past has made us a victim, think about what good it has done in your life. If there is no good, then try to forget it because what is the use of holding on to a painful memory? Neither can you change it nor can you benefit from it, so the best viable option is to let the past go. Hold on to your present and work hard for your future. Close your eyes and ask yourself, are you doing enough for the future you desire? Where do you see yourself in the next 10 years if you keep on working the same way as you did today?