Do you provide yourself with the real worth you deserve? Do you back your abilities and skills and fully trust them in public? Confidence in one’s value as a human is a valuable psychological resource and is a very optimistic side of life; it is connected with success, good relationships, satisfaction, and pleasure. Possessing little self-esteem can lead people to become depressed, allows them to doubt their skills, or to tolerate worthless relationships and circumstances.
Think is there anything that always lets you down in your own eyes? Do you even know what self-esteem is about and what does self-esteem means? Stich to the end of the article to know what it is about.
What is Self-Esteem?
The term self-esteem is used to demonstrate a person’s overall sense of self-worth or personal value. In other words, how much you value and like yourself. It involves a variety of faiths on your personal views, such as the appraisal of your own appearance, beliefs, and emotions.
You all might not know but self-esteem plays an important part in your growth. Too little self-esteem can leave people with an unsatisfactory feeling of defeated or depressed. It can also lead people to make bad decisions, the dilemma in choosing a correct relationship, or failure to live up to their full interests and capabilities.
Excessive felling of self-importance or self-esteem, on the flip side, can be off-putting to others and it can even lead a devastating impact on personal relationships. It is essential to strike a balance between high and low ends of self-esteem. A realistic but optimistic overview of yourself is the key.
Why Self-Esteem Is Important?
Self-esteem plays a major role in defining an overview of our personality. It marks an impact on how we represent our self in front of others. It increases our motivation to move forward in life. Low self-esteem pulls you back from succeeding at school/college or work because you don’t trust and back yourself. On the flip side, having good self-esteem can help you in your achievements because you steer life with a positive attitude and believe you can fulfill your goals.
From where does Self-Esteem Come From?
1. Parents, teachers, and others:-
The people to whom we meet regularly can affect the way how we feel about ourselves and the level of our self-esteem. When they admire the good in us, we feel buoyant. If they are behaving patiently with us and bring out our mistakes with a sense of love, we feel good and we start accepting our mistakes and most importantly we accept ourselves. When we get along with our friends we feel a lively and exaggerated feeling of being liked.
But if grown-up persons rebuke more than they praise, it’s difficult to feel good about yourself. Bullying and teasing by friends and cousins can destroy self-esteem, too. Harsh words make a place inside your heart and constantly pinch you and remind you of your week points which become a part of the motion on how you think about yourself.
2. The voice in your own head:-
Do you speak to yourself? Yes, this matters because the words you speak to yourself play a major role in how you feel about yourself. Thinking, “I’m such a loser” or “I’ll never make friends,” puts a setback or in simple words ‘a speed-breaker’ on your self-esteem.
There are other methods to say the same things. “I didn’t win this time — but maybe next time” or “Maybe I can make some friends”. This sounds more hopeful and optimistic. It evokes a feeling of faith and hope in yourself and it might turn out to be true.
3.Learning to do things:-
We feel delighted when we learn to read, add, draw, or build new things. Play music, write an article, play a sport, wash clothes, help our mother, set the table, help friends, or take a walk with our pets. Each thing you learn and perform is a way to feel good about yourself. Step back, take a pause and look at what you can do and make yourself busy. Make yourself feel happy with it.
But sometimes we make bad decisions and become too harsh on ourselves. We don’t welcome that what we are doing is good enough. If we think, “It’s not really any good,” “It’s not perfect,” or “I can’t do it well enough,” we will not be able to build self-esteem and will not provide ourselves with the right worth.
The three states of Self-Esteem.
This classification given by Martin Ross suggests three states of self-esteem compared to the “feats” ( honours, virtues) and the “anti-feats” (defeats, shame, etc.) of the individuals.
In this state of self-esteem, the individual does not consider themselves as precious or lovable. They might be overwhelmed by defeat or shame, and they name their “anti-feat”. For example, if they think that being over a particular age is an anti-feat, they represent themselves with the name of their anti-feat, and say, “I am old”. They evoke actions and feelings such as pity, insulting themselves, and they may become sad.
In this, the individual has an optimistic self-image. However, their self-esteem is also open to the perceived risk of an imminent anti-feat. Consequently, they are often anxious and constantly use defense mechanisms to guard their self-esteem. A typical defense strategy of vulnerable self-esteem may consist of avoiding decision making. Although they represent themselves as they are full of self-confidence in public but the reality might be different and apparently they don’t make or show any of their skills or abilities in public. They may also make other people feel guilty or hold him responsible to protect their own self-image from situations that would threaten it.
In this state, people with healthy self-esteem have a positive self-image and enough strength so that anti-feats do not overcome their self-esteem. They have less fear of defeat and failure. These individuals appear humble, happy, and this shows a certain strength that doesn’t afraid of anti-feats. They are capable of fighting and are fully dedicated to achieving their goals because, if things don’t go the right way, their self-esteem will not be affected. Accepting their own mistakes precisely because their self-image is strong enough, and this acknowledgment will not impair or affect their self-image. They are less afraid of losing social prestige and with more happiness and general well-being.
Factors that Influence Self-Esteem
There are many factors affecting self-esteem. Your inner thinking, age, any potential illnesses, disabilities, abilities, psychology, or physical limitations, your job, or your work can affect your self-esteem.
Additionally, genetic factors that help shape a person’s personality can play a major role, but it is often our experiences that form the basis for our overall self-esteem. Those who continuously receive critical or negative assessments from family and friends, for example, will likely experience low self-esteem.
Signs of Healthy Self-Esteem.
There are simple methods to tell if you have a healthy self-esteem. You might have strong self-esteem if you are more likely to:
- Avoid relying on past, negative experiences.
- Express your needs and emotions.
- Feel confident about yourself.
- Have an optimistic outlook on life.
- Say “no” when you want to.
- See the overall strengths and weaknesses of your own and accept them.
Signs of Low Self-Esteem
You may need to work on how you see yourself if you experiences these common problems caused by low self-esteem:
- One believes that others are better than him/her everywhere.
- You find it difficult to express your needs and choices.
- You focus on your weaknesses and bad aspects.
- You’ve got a pessimistic outlook on life.
- You have a large fear of failure.
- You’ve trouble saying “no” to others.
- You can put other people’s needs before your own needs.
- Struggling with self-confidence.
What if my Self-Esteem Is Low?
You can do following things to if your self-esteem is low. It’s never too late. Here are some ways to increase your self-esteem:
1. Be with people who treat you well:-
Some people will find a way to let you down in any situation, but some people will lift others by what they say and from what their actions are. Learn to tell and see the difference. Choose mates who help you feel okay about yourself. The company you choose will set a great impact on how you see yourself. Find people who can admire your actions. This will boost your self-esteem.
2. Say helpful things to yourself:–
Listen to the voice of your head. Is it too harsh or tough? For one week, write all the things that come up to your mind and you say to yourself. Look over your list. Compare the list with the suggestions you might give to your good friend who gets stuck in the same problem. Are they matching? If not, rewrite them in a way you have advised to your good friend. Read your new phrases a couple of times a day. Do it until it’s more of a habit to think that way and this will surely change the way of how you think about yourself and will automatically developing self-esteem.
3. Accept what’s not perfect to build self-esteem:-
Everyone likes perfection but it’s not always you can achieve perfect things. All-day are not the same and one day might give you everything but the next day you will find that there is nothing you can achieve. Keep calm, have patience, put the odd things out, and do the best you can. Don’t start anything with an image of perfection, start to keep make yourself happy. Expectations are good but at a small level which can never allow you to break If they went wrong.
When you think you need to be perfect, you can’t feel good about anything less which is less them perfect. Accept your best. Let yourself feel good about what you have and keep pushing yourself for the good things and find ways to do things perfectly. If you will be happy with the things you have, it will increase your self-confidence and will definitely increase your self-esteem.
4. Set goals and work toward them:-
Make a goal that you can achieve. Make sure it should be realistic. If you want to make yourself happy and increase your self-esteem, do things that are good for you. Make a goal. Then make a plan for how to do it, break your goal into smaller sections with a different plan of each section. Stick with your plans and make sure you set a realistic deadline and manage your time properly Track your progress. Be proud of what you’ve done so far. Talk to yourself whenever you feel down, keep motivating yourself.
5. Focus on what goes well:-
Admire your achievements. Don’t always talk about what is not happening, but sometimes it is good to talk about what we have achieved so far. It’s easy to get mingled up in what’s wrong. But unless you make a balance between what’s good and what’s bad, it just makes you feel bad. Next time, catch yourself when you complain about yourself or your day, find something that went well instead pointing out bads of the whole day.
6. Give and help:-
Try to help others and give things. This is one of the best-proven ways to develop self-esteem. Teach your classmate if you can, help your peers, help your mother, help your colleagues in the office, walk for a good cause. Make it a habit to be kind and fair with everyone you meet. Do things that make you proud of the kind of person you are. When you do things that make a change your self-esteem will grow.
You need to quiet that voice in doubt in your head. Have faith in yourself. Don’t doubt yourself and always have lingering thoughts that you are being judged.
I used to hate feeling embarrassed, but then I realized nobody’s watching and nobody gives a damn.Barbara Corcoran
Nobody has so much times in their hand to think and judge you. Everybody is managing their own baggage, so you need to feel better about your self to boost your self-esteem.
- you are good enough
- you deserve the good things
- you’re smart enough
- you are worthy of love and respect
- you are amazing just the way you are!
NEVER BELIEVE ANYTHING ELSE.